November 23, 2013 | Aging Life Care, Caregiving
Central to my role as a Care Manager is supervision of the professional caregivers who work with my clients. At least weekly, I speak with the caregivers, who in many ways are my eyes and ears. With their help, I am aware of the day-to-day aspects of my clients’ routines, and learn immediately of any changes in their status or patterns (eating, sleeping, pain, activity, etc.). I am also in regular communication with my clients, their families and representatives, and their health care professionals, but find that some of the richest information comes from the caregivers I work with.
Some of my clients have families who live out of town, or have no remaining family. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of the relationships between these clients and their caregivers, which was highlighted for me this week in a poignant conversation with one of my caregiver employees.
Maria has worked with Mrs. S for approximately four years. Mrs. S is a 98-year-old widow with dementia and other health problems who resides in her beautiful San Diego home. She has a team of Elder Care Guides caregivers with her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Mrs. S needs assistance with many ADLs (activites of daily living) and IADLs (instrumental activities of daily living) including meal preparation, bathing, transportation, medication assistance, socialization, and transferring.
Over the years that we have served Mrs. S, her cognitive abilities have declined. Maria has been with her every step of the way. Mrs. S always has a bright smile for Maria when she arrives. When Mrs. S is confused about where she is, Maria reassures her that she is in her home, and skillfully redirects her attention to another topic. As Mrs. S has lost her ability to initiate in-depth conversations, Maria has taken up a majority of the talking. Maria has noticed that when Mrs. S appears anxious, starting a comfortable conversation will calm and relax her.
Maria has worked with Mrs. S five or six days a week for several years, and has never heard her client mention God, a higher power, or any spiritual beliefs. However, recently Mrs. S told her: “Of all the angels in all the heavens, I have been sent the very best. You have been sent to me by heaven. I’m so glad you’re here.”
This moment touched Maria deeply, and she told me tearfully how appreciated she felt, and that all of her work with Mrs. S had been worthwhile and meaningful. She relayed this story as the happiest moment she’d experienced as a caregiver. Maria shared with me her observation that Mrs. S’s emotions are an aspect of her personality that has remained intact, amidst a great deal of decline. This client is very aware of other people’s emotions and still responds emotionally to many situations. “When I show her love, she shows it right back.”
Maria reminded me again this week of the importance of many of the relationships between my clients and their caregivers. Mrs. S has very little short term memory, but some long term memories are strong, and her emotions are intact. It has meant the world to Mrs. S to have been cared for with dignity, respect, and love. In the end, the relationships we have with those around us are of utmost importance, and I am so grateful to have witnessed the beautiful relationship forged between Mrs. S and her angel, Maria.