December 6, 2016 | Caregiving
Adult children of aging parents can find themselves in conflict if they are sharing the family caregiver role with siblings. Difficult decisions related to where to live, what to do with household belongings, and family roles often arise as parents’ needs change. When siblings are not in agreement about how their parents’ care needs should be met, it can lead to communication breakdown and things not getting done. Here are some tips for avoiding these pitfalls.
Working through the Emotions of Caregiving
It can be hard to see a parent declining physically and/or cognitively, so it is common for emotions to come up and tensions to run high. Children want their parents to be well cared for, but arguments could arise about where the parent should live and how the support should be offered. Understand that each family member will process the situation in a different way. Look for opportunities to offer compassion to support your siblings during this difficult time, and keep the lines of communication open Keep in mind that longstanding family roles may need to change; for example, the youngest child or “baby” of the family who was not looked to as a decision-maker in the past may have valuable ideas or input that should be considered by older siblings and parents.
If needed, you might consider a session with a family counselor or a mediator to find common ground. Professional services are often overlooked by caregivers in need.
Find Ways to Work Together
It is common for many of the caregiving roles to fall on one person. Instead of letting one individual carry the heavy responsibility, look for ways that all family members can carry the load. Schedule a time to meet and talk about the needs of your parent. Each child can share their ideas and the time and resource that are available to offer support. If multiple family members live in the same area, then you should consider putting together a schedule to relieve the main caregiver on certain days of the week. Family members at a distance may be able to help with online bill-paying or keeping an online calendar of parents’ appointments.
Finding the right support during this challenging time is critical to help you maintain healthy family relationships. Here at Windward Life Care, we are experts in aging well. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your family with the task of caring for an aging parent.