Navigating the Marathon of Dementia Caregiving
November 20, 2024 | Alzheimer's and Other Dementias, Caregiving
Caring for a loved one with dementia can feel like preparing for a marathon, where each step, each mile, needs a focused strategy and realistic goal setting. The journey is long, often challenging, but with the right approach, it can also be fulfilling.
We were inspired by an article published in the New York Times in October by a woman preparing to run her 10th New York City Marathon. “These are good thoughts for the family caregiver navigating the aging process with their loved one,” said Norman Hannay, MPS, CMC, president of Windward Life Care. “Meeting a half-way goal, breaking the goal into smaller objectives and looking at performance all work for the caregiver.”
Drawing insights from marathon training, let’s explore how breaking your caregiving goals into smaller, manageable objectives can help sustain both you and your loved one through this marathon.
Set achievable process goals
Just as runners break down a race into segments, caregivers can manage their tasks by setting “process goals,” as writer Talya Minsberg explains. These are small, incremental objectives that help you focus on what you can control rather than getting overwhelmed by the broader outcome. For instance, instead of aiming to manage all aspects of your loved one’s daily routine in one go, break it down: Focus on establishing a morning routine first, and once that’s in place, move to improving dietary habits.
Focus on your own performance
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your caregiving efforts to others or to an ideal you may have, but as Dr. Ollie Williamson, the author of a study Minsberg quotes, explains in the article, focusing on normative comparison increases unease and can undermine your performance. Remember, each caregiving journey is unique, and just as in running a marathon, “focusing on one step at a time tamps down our anxiety while showing us what we can achieve.”
Use big goals for motivation
Big, ambitious goals have their place—they motivate and guide us. But they should serve as a backdrop to the more tangible, day-to-day tasks that you can control. Setting a goal such as “ensuring comfort and happiness” for your loved one is important, but achieving it through actionable steps like regular walks or cognitive games can make it more attainable.
Develop a flexible plan
“A goal is only useful inasmuch as it helps develop a plan for you,” says Charles Duhigg, the author of “Supercommunicators” and “The Power of Habit,” in the article. For caregivers, this might mean creating a weekly schedule that includes specific times for medical appointments, social interactions, and rest periods. This plan should not be rigid but adaptable, recognizing that the needs of your loved one can change unexpectedly.
Embrace mini-milestones
Just as marathoners might focus on reaching the next light post or mile marker, caregivers should celebrate small victories. Whether it’s a successful doctor’s visit or a particularly good day for your loved one, acknowledging these mini-milestones can provide a sense of achievement and a boost to keep going.
Reevaluate and adjust goals
The journey of caregiving, much like a marathon, may require you to “renegotiate” your goals as circumstances change. It’s important to stay flexible and adjust your objectives as your loved one’s needs evolve. This might mean shifting your focus from independence to comfort or from memory exercises to more sensory-based activities.
Every step counts
The marathon of caregiving is not run alone. It involves support from family, friends, and healthcare professionals, all moving toward a common goal—enhancing the quality of life for the one you care for. By setting clear, manageable goals and focusing on what you can achieve step by step, you not only improve the care you provide, but also ensure that you can endure and perhaps even enjoy the journey. In this marathon, every step counts.