Robert – Complex Family Dynamics

Robert is a pleasant, intelligent, and funny 87-year-old man living with his second wife of 30 years, Susan. He was diagnosed with dementia (presumed Alzheimerâs) and primarily exhibits short-term memory loss. However, he maintains an excellent long-term memory and good overall cognitive ability. He is also a type 2 diabetic and has other health concerns. Susan has MS and uses a cane; however, she is high functioning, except during periods of exacerbation, and still drives. She has some difficulty with speech and can become easily overwhelmed.
In 2020, Susan broke her arm and needed surgery. While she was recovering at a skilled nursing facility, Robertâs daughter Beth (from his first marriage) told Robertâs doctor during a visit that she believed that Robert was incapable of taking care of himself or being left alone. She also expressed concerns about Susanâs ability to care for him. At this point, a conservator was appointed, who then referred Robert to our services. This development upset Susan very much, as she still felt capable of caring for Robert and that Robert was much more capable than his daughter made him out to be. Moreover, she viewed Bethâs intervention as a personal attack on her and an attempt to take Robert away and have more control over him.
Our Role
- The Windward teamâs careful handling of the situation helped mitigate Susanâs initial resistance to other people providing in-home care for Robert and minor changes in his routines.
- Our team involved Susan in Robertâs care as much as possible to help her maintain her role and identity as Robertâs wife and primary caregiver.
- Regular visits from Windwardâs Home Care Aides and Home Health Nurses gave Susan people to talk to about her concerns for Robert without feeling rushed or judged.
- Windwardâs services enabled Robert to maintain much of his independence, as he continues to go out and participate in community activities.
- Support from Windward Home Care Aides gave Susan needed breaks from Robertâs care, as she grew fond of them and became more accepting of the conservatorship in general.